i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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