I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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