id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
