I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
