woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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