Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
