the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
