i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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