I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
