I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
