All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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