Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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