Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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