the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he fucked my hip out of place.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
