Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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