just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Brb crying the tears of my youth
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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