Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
