listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
