I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
