you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
