Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
