There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
