apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
