i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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