He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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