ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
