my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
