I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
