and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize