I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
