if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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