i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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