Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
FUCK WHALES
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
