girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
