My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
