Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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