Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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