I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do vagina's smell?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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