bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
