what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
