Acid is not a monday night drug
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
