My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
