420 ftw
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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