yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
