I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
