But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
