ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
