sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
