I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
