So drunk its hurt
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
