i just had sex bonerless
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
